Another day, another disappointment for progressive Democrats. We learn from former auto-industry car czar Steve Rattner that Obama chief of staff Rahm Emanuel said "Fuck the UAW" during tough takeover talks – just like he called progressives "fucking retarded" for contemplating primary challenges against conservative Democrats.

We were all a little relieved when I decided that I'd been raped. Binge drinking and suicidal thoughts had plagued my freshman year of college. "I knew there had to be a reason," my mom said when I confessed my secret to her outside of my psychiatrist's office. Depression was not something my Irish-Catholic family believed in. I had become dramatic. I stopped shaving my legs because I didn't want to be alone with a razor, as if anyone has ever offed themselves with a pink Bic. An attack at least provided an explanation for my behavior. And yet, rape was a powerful, loaded word -- one I wasn't sure was mine to use. How could I say I was raped when I was so wasted I couldn't remember entire portions of the night?

Some things, you have to imagine, don't need massive advertising campaigns. Milk, for instance. But then there you are, staring at life-size posters of all your favorite celebrities with those weird-looking milk mustaches. Up next: carrots! As reported by the AP, some 50 carrot growers from around the country recently joined forces to boost baby carrot sales, which set the bagged-vegetable world on fire in the '90s but have fizzled of late. The result? A $25 million campaign created by advertising agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky that focuses on the untapped hipness of the baby carrot.

Oil versus water. He-Man versus Skeletor. Sarah Palin versus rational thought. Bitter enemies, all. None of these, though, has generated as much loyalty or backstabbing as the heated tech rivalry between iOS and Android. The operating systems have been dividing and conquering our gadgets and gizmos for what seems like forever, and today Google launched another Android-based product for us to gobble up. Or spit back out. And it's only the first of many!